"I dont feel the suns comin out today..."

"When you feel your life ain't worth living
You've got to stand up and
Take a look around you then a look way up to the sky."

Change! It's part of life. However, you can't go around changing others, the only change can be within, or, as a part of yourself. Improvement to yourself, your health, your mental health, your home, your habits, your life etc.

It's just hard to know where to start! No one is ever really there to help you better yourself, your environment (emotional and such). Sure, you can read up on many ways to self help yourself... but where do you begin?!?!?!

I have been saying it for years now, and I will admit, there have been steps in the right direction, some slight improvements here and there... but today I realize that where it really matters, I am still "broken?"

I am going through a rough patch and I keep slowly detaching myself from everyone and anyone... yet, and this is where it gets weird and ironic, I find myself wanting someone to want me - to be part of my life. I don't "NEED" someone, I just "WANT".

I am pretty fucking lonely, I wont lie, and I find my tolerance for BS and indecisive people to be wearing very very thin. Hello, I am RIGHT HERE!!!

I just wanna wake up and tell myself "I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night"...

A sad day in History...

This morning I heard on the radio that Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with Cancer at the age of 62. She was a 70's icon, best known for her role on Charlie's Angles and the Farrah Flip :). She was a star and a beautiful woman then and now.

This evening I got a call from my mom, Michael Jackson died of Cardiac Arrest! Another Iconic legend, he did what millions of people try to do each and every day - and he did it better than anyone ever could and will!!! He was the hero and idol of so many people and will be mourned by so many people!!!

R.I.P. Farrah and Michael.
Cindy

Don't you hate it when...

You spend nearly 1 hour and a half in a store picking out clothes then trying it all on and deciding on a few items. Then, you walk out and leave it all on a shelf somewhere cuz "you're not feeling it".

Cindy Collin
Marketing & Branding
McGill University Health Centre

(T) 514-934-1934, 71224
(C) 514-451-2256

Spice up the office...

I decided that I would arrange for a friend to come by at lunch and we'd find a secluded area in my building and go at it... the plan was fool-proof... down to the fact that only I had the key and NO ONE would be able to "interrupt". PERFECT PLAN if I do say so myself.

I forgot to take into consideration the PAINTER who is PAINTING the storage area - where the heck did he come from?!?!??!

SIGH! It was a perfect plan! Just goes to show that even perfectly planned things have glitches.

There was no other place we could have gone to, the risk of getting caught by certain people make me sick to my stomach... don't get me wrong, I am always a goer for some risky business... but having to bump into certain men in this building after they have seen me practically naked, I don't think I could tolerate that thought.

Oh well... next time, just do what normal people do and come over to my place :P

Something new

Blogging from me Blackberry...

Note to self, remove my signature when doing so.

"I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day"

Lately, I really hate work!!! Let me rephrase that, I do not HATE MY JOB... I simply HATE COMING TO WORK!!! Make sense?

I feel over worked, over tired, over frustrated and waking up each and every morning to come to my over cluttered office makes me wanna cry.

I am also not paid nearly as much as I should be to drag around my lap top and/or blackberry and work from home in the evenings or reply to e-mails over the weekend. I pretty much need my own assistant to do all the little administrative shit that my office asks me to do, so that i can focus on my actual work which is recruit more locations for tour this year and handle the web store.

I am getting discouraged and the fact that when i get home at night, I really have no energy to do any house stuff is depressing me even more... work and home are cluttered... my brain is cluttered - if I had a car, it would be cluttered to...

*cries*

Busy May W-End...

Friday night I went for a much deserved night of dancing... except that sleep should of been my no. 1 priority... as they say, "no rest for the wicked."

Went to Rouge with a friend and some of her friends, didn't pay a damn thing, I like nights out such as the free nights out!!! Danced, sang, met new people... spilled some Vodka Cranberry on my white top... but it was all good... getting home for the much needed sleep was a different story.

5:00 A.M. and the birds are singing, and Cindy wants to SLEEP.... I guess not, 8:00 A.M. and the alarm goes off, time to head to the East End so I can witness G get married... I did, and everything was beautiful and she was beautiful and he was like a pig in shit with his huge grin from ear to ear the WHOLE DAY/NIGHT!!!!!!!! (pics. to come at some point)

Yesterday was my niece's 2nd birthday and she was a doll... she had a blast and I think she enjoyed her gifts... all of them!

Now, I will go for a slow walk outside so I can enjoy the sun and the warmer weather.

Ciao

P.S. I sprained my ankle yesterday and fell flat on my face in the process of doing so.

Camp Song...

One of my favorite...

The Froggie Song:

Um, ah, went the little green frog one day,
Um, ah, went the little green frog,
Um, ah, went the little green frog one day,
So we all went um, ah, ah.

But.
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
They don't go Um, ah, ah

Do, da, went the little green frog one day,
Do, da, went the little green frog,
Do, da, went the little green frog one day,
So we all went Do, da, da.

But.
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
They don't go Do, da, da

Squish, went the little green frog one day,
Squish, went the little green frog,
Squish, went the little green frog one day,
So there was no more frog.

But.
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
Spa da da da da,
We all know frogs go spa da da da da,
They don't go Squish, squish, squish

This weekend is our Victoria Day long weekend aka May 24 weekend (as in 24 of beer... not 24th of may) and the girls and I have a camping trip planned out. All friends ready to have a wicked good time and rough it out in the woods - YEAH!!!

I can't wait, I have not been this excited about a camping trip in a long time... and the best part is... NO BOYS... or at least I hope not. I also hope that the weather cooperates... and that it's even warm enough for a little dip in the lake.

Anyway, I just can't wait!!!

Hope it gives you hell...

"When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you well"

I kinda like this song by the All American Rejects... it "treats me well" - sometimes.

You'd be surprised at how long it's taken me to realize that when you sit (or stand, or lie or walk or whatever) there waiting for something to happen... it never does! In fact, you only torture yourself really, wondering why so and so has not yet replied to your last e-mail, or returned your last call... I mean, it's enough to make any grown woman go CRAZY!!! So I have decided not to wait anymore, not to have my e-mail opened yet minimized in hopes to get mail/distractions at work. I will check once a day... like normal, busy people do. Hopefully I wont ever end up in a situation such as below ever again by adapting my new routine.

Yes, I enjoy my daily dose of e-mails/distractions, I enjoy talking to my friends about how their day/week/month as been... I also like keeping in touch via facebook... And, I am fully aware that some people are NOT phone people... or TEXTERS or whatever. I especially would never expect someone to change just because I am that way!

That being said, you become my friend... you know how I am, you accept ME right? I mean, isn't that how it works, I like you for YOU, and you like me for ME? Or do you really? I mean, giving me shit cause I simply requested a reply to an email I sent 3 weeks ago and to me was pretty fucking IMPORTANT... and telling me "if you can't accept me the way I am then too bad" Isn't that a bit of a contradiction just for arguments sake, but hey, I have been known to be wrong before.

I am not a selfish person, I am not overly demanding, I am not ignorant. I just care too much I guess... and I have told you this before.